#MY STORY ISN T OVER YET SERIAL#
We asked a serial lurker about the motivations and emotions behind this kind of behaviour. "It’s out of general curiosity to see how they’re getting on, what they’re doing, and how missed I truly am." "But, it also confuses me as he deleted me on any other platform and I do question if he’s over me or not." "If I am honest, it kind of makes me laugh seeing my ex watching my story cause I know he’s still curious what I am up to," says Cosic.
Funnily enough, when she sees exes' faces appearing in the list of people viewing her Story, she feels a little differently. "If it’s someone I really like or used to like, I will think twice about stalking them on Insta," says Cosic. While she says she only looks at exes' and former ghostees' Instagram Stories if she has "zero interest in them," she feels differently when she sees her exes viewing her Story. Senior account executive Ena Cosic also finds the practice confusing because she isn't sure of lurking equates to romantic emotions. He seemed like he had great character and we had a lot of fun together." "I wonder if he feels bad about ghosting me because he was generally an all-around great guy the entire time I've known him. Her theory is that he's possibly lurking on her Story out of guilt. However she doesn't feel strongly enough to confronting her ex about it. "Like, you clearly don't have enough respect for me to tell me you weren't interested in dating me anymore, but here you are keeping up with what I'm doing without you in my life," she says. Hannah Blackington, an account executive based in London, says she keeps seeing an ex that she dated on-and-off for a year viewing her Story. The phenomenon has left some people, understandably, feeling "so confused". "People love to feel wanted even if they aren’t interested and this is a way for the ghost to encourage that interest with almost no effort," says Pavitt. She says that it can give the ghost "an ego boost if it prompts the person they ghosted to contact them." "It’s a low commitment way for the ghost or ex-partner to stay connected and play a passive role in their exes' lives," says Pavitt. "This is a way for the ghost to encourage that interest with almost no effort." It's a way for exes to keep themselves in your life in a low-key, zero-commitment way. So why is it happening? Vicki Pavitt, love expert at Match, says this is a "modern phenomenon that wouldn't have even been possible a few years ago". It was only when I saw a recent viral tweet which called out this particular Instagram phenomenon that I realised how many others were being haunted by ghosts on Instagram. These ghosts are haunting each and every one of my Stories without fail, studying the mundane, incremental updates of my everyday life as if it's an art form they're attempting to master.īut, the thing is: these people ghosted me deemed me no longer worthy of dating them at that moment in time, and swiftly exited my life without so much as a "nice knowin' ya." Why, then-if they didn't like me enough to date me, or even reply to my texts-do these former flames lurk in the shadows? These aren't just one-offs, which we could probably blame on the odd rogue thumb swipe in the wrong direction. I can't be basic on Instagram anymore and it's all because of Stories
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